Dear Convoy Commanders

Why are you doing this to us (and I believe specially to me!)?
I know that being the leading vehicle of a convoy is a very boring job ... specially here in Kuwait. No enemy's to fight back, no roadside bombs and no people rushing on the street cursing you out. Your car could go much faster and most likely you would love to drive faster to take your shower and go to sleep. I been there and done it... it's the most boring thing to do!!
BUT... before I let you go to bed I have a few questions:

1. Why is it that you have to use the middle lane of the highway, blocking all kind of other traffic?
2. Why do you have to drive 120 km/h with trucks trying to catch up with you and therefore doing very wild maneuvers?
3. Why don't you look what your guys are doing behind you? Like overtaking within the convoy and blocking 3 lanes and other crap like this?
4. Why don't you check the load and if it's secured properly?
5. Why do you always have to be at the traffic light from Highway 40 to 7th ring road before me and why do you need to use all three lanes there?
6. Why don't you check if your drivers can really drive?
7. Why do you in your armored Hummer followed by a bus have to use the speedlane driving 90 km/h?

I know ... it's a lot of questions for you to answer. So let me help you a little... told you... I did the same thing.

1. I have no clue why you do this? There are NO roadside bombs in Kuwait! It worked just fine using the truck lane (that's the one on the far right)!
2. That's because you are tired and want to go home... is it?
3. I have no clue why you let this happen ... it's your responsibility that everyone is driving "save".
4. It is so simple ... you go there ... you look at it ... you tell him to strap it down properly. They will do if you tell them! Really! They understand you ...
5. Guess you woke up earlier then me and then waited for me there. I don't mind ... But please... let me pass. I am late for work and I don't want to talk with you or one of your drivers (ohh... and tell them to step on the brake while waiting there! Don't let them roll backwards ... but this is a different story).
6. Easy task ... they should have a thingy called "drivers license". OK ... people will now start arguing with me that a Kuwaiti drivers license is more or less just like a card from the library... it doesn't really mean that you can drive or read a book. But at least you have a hint if he is driving for a while by looking at the issue date. I had a guy from Nepal that said he was driving for years. I believed him (I was young and stupid back then) until I told him to back up his truck with trailer for about 80 meters. After 15 minutes and 10 meters I pulled him out of the cab. His drivers license was OK... but only 2 weeks old. In Nepal he was driving a small van ...
7. Here I really can not help you ... I have absolutely no idea why you do this crap!

I hope I didn't keep you awake to long and you find some sleep so you can wake up tomorrow and beat me on the traffic light and let your drivers do the same crap the did yesterday.

Yours truly,

Evil Knievel