Sunday, November 13, 2005

Snow?? Ice??

What is it today?? A little rain and everyone is driving like he has highly explosive stuff in the trunk! People honk at you to tell you that you should clear their path even though they are still 150 m away from you and they only drive 30 km/h (that’s 18 seconds till they pass you!). People seem to orientate themselves on the middle concrete wall on the highways because everyone is driving on the left. People have set their windshield wipers to "tropical hurricane level 5" because a raindrop hits their windshield every 30 - 45 seconds (but this is still better then the ones that have no wipers at all!). Warning lights flashing because there is a ditch on the road that is 2,35 cm deep. High beam and fog lights turned on to warn the cars 2 kilometres in front and behind you.
I know ... there is oil on the roads and the water is flushing it onto the surface (thank you RKFM for reminding all of us every morning about the dangers on the roads! :/)... the dust and sand form an ice like substance... but still... THE ROADS ARE DRIVABLE!!!! NO REASON TO COMPLETLY ACT UP!!!
The only time you see this kind of behaviour on German (or better European) roads is when you have heavy snow or ice rain. That's the time where you can figure out who has winter tires on his car and who not (winter tires are for pussies!! :P ). Can't wait till I get to Germany to hopefully drive in snow again! It's slower traffic then usual ... but not even half as crazy as over here!

Saturday, November 12, 2005


People, I need to rethink the whole idea about breaking the land speed record for Kuwait...

This week is the Kuwait Motor Show... I have been there yesterday and what can I say... I need to rethink my attempt! With my Peugeot 407 I will not be able to compete AT ALL!!!
If you been there ... saw the Audi's, Lamborghini’s, Porsche's and BMW's?!? HOW CAN I COMPETE WITH THEM???
I totally gave up on the idea after being the passenger in an Aston Martin DB9. You know the feeling when you are flying and the plane hits an air pocket and your stomach feels funny!? Ok... you have this feeling in a DB9 from the second the engine is running ... acceleration is AWSOME! Top speed beyond 300 km/h (still may not be enough to break the record). REAL NICE!!
But not only because this car costs more then I earn in a year I would not buy it ... no ... there are other reasons also ... Picture this:
My friend and I where on highway 40 driving the BB9 with about 120km/h ... on the lane right of us pulls up a car ... he get's his camera out and clicks pictures of the car ... !??!?! WTF?!?!
Since there are only (I think) 29 DB9 in Kuwait, people will always know where you are... don't really know if this is good or not ... but I like to have some privacy even if I go to public places.

Well ... my friend would probably kill me if I tell you that a DB9 is not a car to buy ... it is!! Awesome manufacturing! Hand build, though designed and absolutely individual! If I would not have to worry about what's paying my bills ... I would have one ... and a Vanquish right with it!! :P

But seriously now. There are real nice cars at the motor show and some real jewels as well! Maybe if you talk to the guys from Audi real nice they'll show you their treasure! Well hidden and very exclusive! And while you are there ... check out the RS4 and A8...
Right next to Audi you can find Volkswagen. Check out the Phaeton!!
Porsche displays the Porsche Carrera GT ... a monster!
For the guys that like the H2 ... the H3 is presented ... for me the H1 is still the best out of their series ... but this is just me ... :P
In the same hall you can find a real classic race car ... the Ford GT! They have one on display that seems to be a customer car ... he still has his radar warner in the front windshield!! :P Hope for him that police won't recognize...

And what would cars be without beautiful women?!?! Skoda won the unofficial beauty contest with a hostess named Hannan (if I remember right). She was trying to sell us a car and showed us the features of it ... when she explained that we could fit our skis in the trunk by sticking them thru the rear seat I tried hard not to crack up ... SKI?!?!? THIS IS THE KUWAIT MOTOR SHOW!!! NO SNOW!!! NO MOUNTAINS!!! But still ... she won!

Well ... so for me it's back to the drawing board ... and if I really want to break the record ... I think I need a filthy rich sponsor!
Anyone?!? No?!?

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Aaaaaarrrrrgh !!!

No... I did not die yet on the streets of Kuwait. It was just that nothing happened that I would like to write here or discuss in public. I was doing my work, had my private life and worked on breaking the land speed record in Kuwait with my little Peugeot.
My average time to work is getting better day by day... maybe because I decided that it's a waste of energy to flash the high beam ... I decided to leave it on ALL the time. It seems to work. Well, almost... Convoys and their beloved commander’s don't give a shit. But since they have the bigger vehicles I step back and let them do. Hmmm ... maybe I should also get a truck and start tuning it to not only break the land speed record for cars but at the same time for trucks!
So like I said everything is running smooth and easy.
What the **** !!! That Beamer in front of my on 6th ring road just lost some major solid part from its engine and decided to drop it onto my hood and into my windshield!!! WTF!!! I only saw it for a split second and I thought it's coming thru the windshield so I covered my face and duck down. Nasty loud sound ... windshield still there ... Beamer still driving ...?!?!?! WHAT WAS THAT?!?! Ahhh ... there is the one to blame!!! LEFT side of the highway is a truck and a driver to it that looks very confused and is looking at his truck and kinda wonders why it's not running anymore. Duh!!! Hey pal, the part you are looking for was trying to kill me and the cars following me are spreading it out on to the highway!!!
This truck was one of the kind where you kind of wonder that they are driving at all. The tank is strapped with some wire, the tires already have 2.5 million kilometres of Kuwaiti and Iraqi roads behind them and would be forbidden to be used in Formula 1 since they have no profile left, the smoke coming out of the exhaust looks worse then the smoke from the Doha power plant, the back of the trailer is following the truck 2m to the side, the "hood" is held with wire, the air pressure hoses for the brakes of the trailer dangle in the wind, the 16 break lights on the trailer don't work, etc. etc.
Did the government ever think of something like a technical inspection for vehicles on their roads?! If not ... they should start thinking about it. (If a government official is reading this and needs some help or guidelines, please leave a comment and I get back with you)
Well, now I have this big ****ing, nasty dent in my hood and I need a new windshield. My boss will tell me again that this would not have happened if I would have driven only 120 km/h and I have to tell him that when this happened I actually was driving 120 km/h since the driver of the beamer didn't really know where the throttle or the middle lane is.
So now I start thinking if I may need a different car for my record attempt. I had nothing but luck with this one ... AC not working / transmission problems / sudden window combustion / trucks hitting / heater (YES! It's cold in the morning!) and now people throwing their junk on my hood.
The rental company is informed and delivers me a new Evil Knievel car ... I figure it's going to be a Mazda 6 ... nice car but no records will be broken with it.

In real life it looks worse

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Dear Convoy Commanders

Why are you doing this to us (and I believe specially to me!)?
I know that being the leading vehicle of a convoy is a very boring job ... specially here in Kuwait. No enemy's to fight back, no roadside bombs and no people rushing on the street cursing you out. Your car could go much faster and most likely you would love to drive faster to take your shower and go to sleep. I been there and done it... it's the most boring thing to do!!
BUT... before I let you go to bed I have a few questions:

  1. Why is it that you have to use the middle lane of the highway, blocking all kind of other traffic?
  2. Why do you have to drive 120 km/h with trucks trying to catch up with you and therefore doing very wild maneuvers?
  3. Why don't you look what your guys are doing behind you? Like overtaking within the convoy and blocking 3 lanes and other crap like this?
  4. Why don't you check the load and if it's secured properly?
  5. Why do you always have to be at the traffic light from Highway 40 to 7th ring road before me and why do you need to use all three lanes there?
  6. Why don't you check if your drivers can really drive?
  7. Why do you in your armored Hummer followed by a bus have to use the speedlane driving 90 km/h?

I know ... it's a lot of questions for you to answer. So let me help you a little... told you... I did the same thing.

  1. I have no clue why you do this? There are NO roadside bombs in Kuwait! It worked just fine using the truck lane (that's the one on the far right)!
  2. That's because you are tired and want to go home... is it?
  3. I have no clue why you let this happen ... it's your responsibility that everyone is driving "save".
  4. It is so simple ... you go there ... you look at it ... you tell him to strap it down properly. They will do if you tell them! Really! They understand you ...
  5. Guess you woke up earlier then me and then waited for me there. I don't mind ... But please... let me pass. I am late for work and I don't want to talk with you or one of your drivers (ohh... and tell them to step on the brake while waiting there! Don't let them roll backwards ... but this is a different story).
  6. Easy task ... they should have a thingy called "drivers license". OK ... people will now start arguing with me that a Kuwaiti drivers license is more or less just like a card from the library... it doesn't really mean that you can drive or read a book. But at least you have a hint if he is driving for a while by looking at the issue date. I had a guy from Nepal that said he was driving for years. I believed him (I was young and stupid back then) until I told him to back up his truck with trailer for about 80 meters. After 15 minutes and 10 meters I pulled him out of the cab. His drivers license was OK... but only 2 weeks old. In Nepal he was driving a small van ...
  7. Here I really can not help you ... I have absolutely no idea why you do this crap!

I hope I didn't keep you awake to long and you find some sleep so you can wake up tomorrow and beat me on the traffic light and let your drivers do the same crap the did yesterday.

Yours truly,

Evil Knievel