2 saw whats in my trunk and 7 came to help

I think I need to be more careful about the stuff that I write on this blog!!
First I tell all of you about the traffic in Kuwait and decide to draw just ONE comic about it myself. Then a few days later I tell you about Jinxed... Good thing I skipped the two entries in between!!!

So this is what happened yesterday:

Driving home from work after picking my car up in the morning from service.
I reached 5th ring road on the Fahaheel Express Way (30 for the guys that haven't been here that long) and the usual traffic jam occurs.
I stay on the left lane since I need to go past the 4th ring to get my exit...
Drive 200 meters ... stop ... drive 200 meters ... stop ...
Then I reached the exit to 4th ring road ... I am underneath the bridge still on the left lane. The car in front of me stops. So do I. No squeaking tires or anything like this ... just a stop like all of us on the highway at this point did 20-30 times since passing 5th ring road.
Out of pure curiosity I look into my review mirror and see this car getting bigger and bigger in my mirror...
I let go of the steering wheel .... lean back against the seat ... my head against the head rest ... BAAAAAAANG !!!!
The car behind me failed to brake ... popped open my trunk ... smashed the rear end of my car ... the front end of his ... I drive to the EMERGENCY lane... so does he... 5 guys get out of the car and 3 start walking away (Indian labor) ... he starts telling me stuff in Arabic I don't understand ... but I got something like that it is my fault because I was breaking so hard!!! That's when I asked him if he or his friend speaks English. When both denied I let go a barrage of insults and complaints. he still insisted it's my fault.
A cop car (number 7 in my cartoon and even on the same side of the road as in my cartoon) stopped at another accident that must have happened a few minutes before mine... I wave to the cop and signal him to come over to help us out here.
Another cop car comes and stops in front of us ...
We talk a little ... BANG ... BANG ... BANG ... BANG ... another 5 cars just ran to each other...
After waiting till the cops filled out the initial report, I am off to the Maidan Hawally Police Station. After maybe an hour some mandoob tells me that before I can speak with the detective I need to get copies of all the paperwork. So across the street there's a small INSURANCE company who probably make more money with copies then with insurances.
Another 20 minutes later the detective has a few minutes for me and finds out that me is German. "Danke" he says ... "Bitte" I reply ... asking him if he was ever in Germany. So he gives me that he is really busy with a BIIIIIG case and if it is OK for me to come back tomorrow ... just to pick up my paper work since it was clearly not my fault. Sure thing!
Informed the rental car agency about the incident and they said they can only assist as soon as the police report is done. How nice of National Rental Car to have someone with you in case there are issues at the police or something and to offer the replacement car as mentioned in the contract... I seriously think National needs some ass kicking!!! And so does that imbecile that hit me!

Get a glimpse of me...

No photoshop ... just an amazing photographer! :)

I think I am getting old

Not only that I passed 30 for sure now, but there are other signs that make me go hmmm...

1. Losing hair...
Seems to be an unstoppable process that's been going on for quite a while now. I keep my hair very short so you don't see it that much. But I hate pictures of me from behind or from above... looks like I am bald, specially when taken with flash light! So please don't do that to me! :)

2. Grey/White hair...
I don't really mind that... It's not taking over and it makes me look mature and wise. (I hope!)

3. Driving slower!!
That's probably the scariest part yet! I used to race everywhere and kinda took it personal if somebody overtook me... now I drive (almost) normal... 130 on the highway / 60 (if possible) anywhere else...

4. Music
I remember tracks coming out in the years some of my friends were BORN! And also I tend to say:"The original is much better and it was performed by... in ...".

5. Movies
See 4...

6. Knowledge / "Wisdom"
Some of my friends refer to me as ****pedia (first part removed to protect the authors anonymity). But this is actually something I really enjoy! Too bad I can't put it to use in the last board game I was gifted (UK Edition of Trivial Pursuit... too much crap asked for that is too UK specific).
And then there are these moments when you watch news or something and go: "Hold on!!! Didn't this happen before?? Ohh yes!! That was in 19xx in ...!".

7. Stories
The older you get the more stories you can tell... and I fear that my friends have to listen to too many stories of my life! :P
Also a lot of the stories I hear from others I've heard already...

8. School friends
Isn't it amazing what some of your school or even Kindergarden friends are doing now?? Some of them are in senior positions, others made it big and probably retired already and A LOT will have children that are almost legal of age (or at least think they are already). I recently got in touch with a lot of them on something like a German 'Facebook" site... It's amazing what some my friends from back then are doing now or have done in the years between!

9. ...
There are plenty of other things that make my recognice how 'old' I am... some small... some big ...

However... you are always as old as you feel! So I am somewhere in my 20ies... :)

Are you getting old as well?

Tagged to be honest

I've been tagged by NEOARK
Honest Tag
The rules are simple: write 10 things honestly about your self and tag 7 blogger to do the same.

The rules might be simple but the tag ain't. Anyways... here we go:

1- On a flight from New York to Boston in a tiny ass prop jet I fell asleep drooling right next to one of the hottest women I ever met. Since then I was never lucky again with my seat neighbor on a flight!

2- In front of my boss I pretend to work much more then I really do. Not only to look good and to hope for a raise, but also to have more time to goof off at work!

3- I was afraid of losing my life several times. Once or twice while driving and two times when I was in the military stationed in Croatia and had to go on a convoy thru Bosnia in 1996. But I never feared flights! Even tho I had a near crash experience on a military flight in a C-130. I always start smiling when everyone else in the plane starts to panic.

4- I started smoking Cigarettes in complete secrecy. Not even my closest friends knew for over one year. Now everyone knows I am smoking (too much).

5- I was as tall as I am now when I was 15. 192cm ...

6- I had no clue about Kuwait when I signed the contract to come here other then the amount of money I was going to make and that it was right next to Iraq. It was a pleasant surprise when I walked into the arrival hall at the airport and saw all the fast food and Starbucks. It got even better when I was driven to my apartment with 170km/h listening to RKFM and my Boss telling me that speeding as a foreigner working for the US military is not a really an issue in Kuwait...

7- I don't drink alcohol! Never did (except once in school i took a sip out of a champagne bottle to celebrate the birthday of a girl I had a crush on)! Was never tempted... I have other things that make me happy and smile. But I will drink together with my dad when he will retire. A small beer!

8- When I am out of Kuwait I start missing it after a few days. When I am in Kuwait I complain about it almost every day!

9- The fastest I was ever driving was 318 km/h in an Aston Martin Vanquish S owned by a Kuwaiti who had no clue that I am driving it! Funny enough it was in Kuwait and not in Germany where speeds like this would be legal on some highways. To be exact, it was on Highway 51.

10- I sometimes wish I could turn back time to do things different. Still, I don't really regret the things I did in my life.

I should tag 7 people... fell free to be tagged!
Who I would really like to see doing this is Flaming Carrot! Feel free to do it in comments (traffic fines)...

Soon in Kuwait ...

IF ... someone wants to have it! It's a Wiesmann MF5 ... 0-100km/h in 3.9 seconds without doing anything to it. Driven by a BMW M5 engine... Would love to see it participating in the next Gulf Run!

Let me know and I'll give you a price.

Call of Duty: World at War

I was waiting for the release of Call of Duty: World at War (or CoD5) for quite a long time .... Finally it's here!
I bought the PS3 version on Wednesday and I was thru with the game on Thursday afternoon...
I played it in 'Veteran' difficulty just to see what the game is like and to unlock the levels.
It is GREAT! I was hoping for a much longer single player game but then again it has some very very pretty graphics. It is using the same engine that CoD4 was using with different textures of course and much much better maps. Your are playing the story of two soldiers.
A Russian that is fighting the Germans that are portrayed really evil and bad in this game (and some of them were in reality as well). You are accompanied by some Russian commander who's pushing his soldiers to be just as bad as the Germans are. In one scene he is asking you to shoot 3 German soldiers who surrendered. I refused to do it so he threw a Molotov Cocktail (one of the available weapons being a Russian) on them!
The other soldier is a US Marine that is fighting the Japanese. They are also shown as real savages and attack you several times with banzai (suicide) attacks. Traps are waiting for your comrades laid by the Japanese and they are very deadly. The US Marines are behaving 'good' in the story, meaning they do not kill POW's or other ridiculous stuff. BUT... they are putting a really gruesome weapon to use ... the flame thrower!

They throw some actual film footage from both fronts into the game in between the levels. Very graphic ones as well... German officers being executed ... burned Japanese soldiers ...

It's definitely nothing you should let your kids play though since it's very graphic when it comes to injuries and killing people. Specially with a flamethrower, grenade or a heavy machine gun. No wonder it is rated 18+ !!! But I guess that's what makes it even more interesting for the kids...

I am looking forward to play it on the PC in my favourite "Game Center" since there is a new 4 player coop mode! You are going thru the same story as in the single player mode... just with your friends by your side. Also the multi player maps seem to be quite cool! They are big and have real nice graphics. Vehicles are back in the game! So you can take control of a tank with your buddy mounting the MG in the turret.

Call me a weirdo ... but I like Ego Shooters that are as real as possible ... and CoD: World at War is!!

BTW...

Two of the screenshots are NOT from some video scene!

They were made during game play !!!

And again I become a millionair!

ATTENTION.......... "YOUR NAME"

From: Barrister Fariz Mustafa [fariz_fhc01@rocketmail.com]

Fariz Halim & Co Law Firm
No 36A, Parcel 36.01,
Level 36 Menara Citibank,
165 Jalan Ampang,
Kuala Lumpur 50450,
WP Malaysia.

Attn: "YOUR NAME",
Bearing in mind the nature of the ontent of this letter coming from a person without any referral, I apologize for any inconvenience, but please read and objectively consider if we can work together.
I am Barrister Fariz Mustafa, a legal law firm, an attorney at law Kuala Lumpur Malaysia. This involves a foreign client of mine by name Mr Razak "YOUR FAMILY NAME", Who here in after shall be referred to as my client, died as a result of heart-related condition on the 11th November, 2004. His heart condition was due to the death of all the members of his family in the Gulf Air Flight Crashes in Persian Gulf Near Bahrain Aired August 23, 2000 - 2:50 p.m. ET as reported on http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0008/23/bn.08.html <http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0008/23/bn.08.html> I have contacted you to assist in distributing the money left behind by my client before it is confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this deposit valued at 7.5million dollars is lodged. This bank has issued me a notice to contact the next of kin, or the account will be confiscated. My proposition to you is to seek your consent to present you as the next-of-kin and beneficiary of my named client, since you have the same last name, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you. Then we can share the amount on a mutually agreed-upon percentage.
All legal documents to back up your claim as my client's next-of-kin will be provided. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through. This will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. If this business proposition offends your moral values,do accept my apology. I must use this opportunity to implore you to exercise the utmost indulgence to keep this matter extraordinary confidential, whatever your decision, while I await your prompt response. Please contact me at once to indicate your interest. I will like you to acknowledge the receipt of this e-mail as soon as possible.
Best Regards,
Barrister Fariz Mustafa Esq (Principal Attorney).

Now this one is good!! It used my office email and this guy knows my name!! It's a personalised scam email!! Don't fall for shit like this!! And again the name used is Barrister!!
Other posts to the same topic:
- http://lifeinthespeedylane.blogspot.com/2008/09/i-can-retire-again.html
- http://lifeinthespeedylane.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-can-retire.html

I WANT EVEN MORE !!! (Wiesmann GT MF5)

WIESMANN GT MF5

CHASSIS

Aluminium Monocoque, glued and riveted
BODY

High-quality, glass fibre reinforced composite material
MOTOR

V10 front-mounted mid-engine
Engine capacity 4.999 ccm
Rated power/rated speed 373 kW / 507 BHP / 7.750 rpm
Max. torque/speed 520 Nm / 6.200 rpm
GEARBOX
7-speed SMG (sequential manual gearbox)
POWER TRANSMISSION
Rear wheel drive
PERFORMANCE
Maximum speed: 310 km/h

(note: it's electronically locked)

Acceleration 0-100km/h: 3,9 sec.
TYRES
245/40 ZR 19 - VA275/35 ZR 19 - HA
FRONT WHEEL SUSPENSION
Double wishbone axle, stabiliser
REAR WHEEL SUSPENSION
Double wishbone axle with trailing link, stabiliser
CURB WEIGHT
1.380 kg
GROSS WEIGHT
1.680 kg
DIMENSIONS
Length: 4,30 m

Width:: 1,95 m

Height: 1,17 m

Anyone interested in sponsoring me to take this baby to the GulfRun 2008?! Cash donations are highly appriciated!! Contact me for my bank details...

I am NOT Evel ...

I am NOT Robert Craig 'Evel' Knievel ... a daring motorcycle stuntman and hero for some. He broke pretty much every bone we humans have. I know that some of my friends will deny and say that I AM... but no... *3 times knocking on wood*... I NEVER broke any of my bones.. AND I don't ride bikes... NEITHER do I dress like him (unless someone pays me serious money for it)!

Besides... I am Evil! :)

Aaaaaarrrrrgh !!!

No... I did not die yet on the streets of Kuwait. It was just that nothing happened that I would like to write here or discuss in public. I was doing my work, had my private life and worked on breaking the land speed record in Kuwait with my little Peugeot.
My average time to work is getting better day by day... maybe because I decided that it's a waste of energy to flash the high beam ... I decided to leave it on ALL the time. It seems to work. Well, almost... Convoys and their beloved commander’s don't give a shit. But since they have the bigger vehicles I step back and let them do. Hmmm ... maybe I should also get a truck and start tuning it to not only break the land speed record for cars but at the same time for trucks!
So like I said everything is running smooth and easy.
BAAAANG!!! CRACK!!!!
What the **** !!! That Beamer in front of my on 6th ring road just lost some major solid part from its engine and decided to drop it onto my hood and into my windshield!!! WTF!!! I only saw it for a split second and I thought it's coming thru the windshield so I covered my face and duck down. Nasty loud sound ... windshield still there ... Beamer still driving ...?!?!?! WHAT WAS THAT?!?! Ahhh ... there is the one to blame!!! LEFT side of the highway is a truck and a driver to it that looks very confused and is looking at his truck and kinda wonders why it's not running anymore. Duh!!! Hey pal, the part you are looking for was trying to kill me and the cars following me are spreading it out on to the highway!!!
This truck was one of the kind where you kind of wonder that they are driving at all. The tank is strapped with some wire, the tires already have 2.5 million kilometres of Kuwaiti and Iraqi roads behind them and would be forbidden to be used in Formula 1 since they have no profile left, the smoke coming out of the exhaust looks worse then the smoke from the Doha power plant, the back of the trailer is following the truck 2m to the side, the "hood" is held with wire, the air pressure hoses for the brakes of the trailer dangle in the wind, the 16 break lights on the trailer don't work, etc. etc.
Did the government ever think of something like a technical inspection for vehicles on their roads?! If not ... they should start thinking about it. (If a government official is reading this and needs some help or guidelines, please leave a comment and I get back with you)
Well, now I have this big ****ing, nasty dent in my hood and I need a new windshield. My boss will tell me again that this would not have happened if I would have driven only 120 km/h and I have to tell him that when this happened I actually was driving 120 km/h since the driver of the beamer didn't really know where the throttle or the middle lane is.
So now I start thinking if I may need a different car for my record attempt. I had nothing but luck with this one ... AC not working / transmission problems / sudden window combustion / trucks hitting / heater (YES! It's cold in the morning!) and now people throwing their junk on my hood.
The rental company is informed and delivers me a new Evil Knievel car ... I figure it's going to be a Mazda 6 ... nice car but no records will be broken with it.

In real life it looks worse